Coach’s Handicap Race 2104 Results -- By Marty Friedman

The handicap race tradition continued, on Saturday June 21, thanks to the “Stupendous” Silvas and our “Courageous” Coach Ed. Tradition included beautiful weather, sandbagged predicted times (2/3 runners faster than predicted), family and friends hanging around to cheer and/or partake in breakfast buffet, etc.

The first runner across the line (thank you Johnson & Johnson for the baby powder course markings) was Jake “Cyclone” Courtney. He was immediately accused of sandbagging, but claimed he was only 2 seconds off his predicted time. Upon review of his signed and notarized deposition, it was determined he was 4:58 better than predicted. Now you know why there are lawyer jokes. Did you hear the one about…….

Shortly after Jake’s finish, the first female finisher was Renee “Scurrying” Smith. She must know a good coach or have a convincing story about how slow she expected to finish. Tamar “Gliding” Gamliel was next across the line, chased by Diane “Sleek” Silva and “Nice Mark” Kerper. At this point in the race, runners began finishing in clusters, challenging the Coach to remember names quickly (and Debbie Richardson to write names even more quickly) . Sabina “Hasty” Helton and Trish “Rushing” Riley started out and finished together. They were chased by “Studly” Sean Richardson, Sharon “Smoking” Lotesto, and Mark “Streaking” Silva (who lost out on his bet to beat Sean Richardson). Next came “Little Mark” Shalvarjian, Mark “Tearing” Townes, and Simeon “Prompt” Petrov.

Honesty awards went to Bill “Whirlwind” Weber who was exactly right with his run-time prediction, although there were accusations that he took a short nap and hung out steps before his finish. Chuck “Kamikaze” Kaminski, Brad “Airborne” Angle and Nicola “Leaping” Lowrey were mere seconds off their respective predictions…and Coach Ed predicted he wouldn’t run at all, so he was right on, as well.

Awards were varied and many, including several for the select few who actually seemed to have some idea of what they were capable of. Notable finishers included Rich “Gusting” Gust, Corrine “Sandbag” Schratz, Humberto “Superman” Sanchez, Aaron “Meteor” Munger, Leonard “Butane” Burzynski, Erin “Cantering” Cvengros, Risa “Karma” Kahn, and Louise “Glinting” Gold. Louise is a new member and promises (threatens) to get back in marathon shape.

Fastest times of the day were turned in by “Superman” Sanchez (35:10) “Meteor” Munger (35:42), “Whirlwind” Weber (37:00), Jon “Mach Speed” Megeff (37:36) and “Gusting” Gust (38:49). Notable events included the fastest runner of the day (Humberto) catching the not-so-fastest (Corrine) a few steps from the finish line, both running about a minute or so off their predictions.

Our directionally-challenged runners included Risa “Karma” Kahn and Michelle “Wanderlust” Wun. Risa thought it would be interesting to check out the PV cliffs at the one-mile mark, before getting back on course, and Michelle decided to check out Lunada Bay before turning around to head back. The timing company (Coach Ed, a clock kindly loaned from Coach Renee at Mira Costa, and Debbie Richardson feverishly writing down names and times) had moved on to the pot luck breakfast by the time “Wanderlust” found her way back to the finish line, so an actual time was not recorded. Jim “Nuclear” Newman created a Club Ed first, by being chauffeured right up to the Start Line to jump into the race…although he arrived about 20 minutes later than his handicapped starting time!

Official timekeepers were Ed “Air Mail” Avol and Debbie “Rampaging” Richardson. The “Stupendous” Silvas handed out a mixture of gags and serious awards. The raucous and wildly cheering spectators included Kenzie “Assistant-In-Chief” Avol, Danielle “Boomer” Boyer, Marty “Flying” Friedman (grounded by mechanical failures), Mom-to-be Marina “Sneaky” Sanchez, role-model-mom Gretchen “Nerveless” Newman, and runner-in-training Martin “Mischievous” Newman.

Reporter’s Note: Corrine “Sandbag” Schratz received her nickname after winning the 2013 race. She suggested “Slug” as a new nickname, but it was rejected by the rules committee as unbecoming a runner. “Hot at 50” was suggested as “Hasty” Helton’s nickname, but it was rejected as both sexist and age discriminatory (and in the eyes of the beholder). Besides, we’re a politically correct club - we would never refer to Mark Silva as “A-hole” Mark, would we?

Coach's Handicap Race Results, Fastest First

10K time HCP TIME FINISH RUN Diff from Hcp
Humberto Sanchez 34:00:00 46:00:00 81:10:00 35:10:00 1:10
Aaron Munger 34:00:00 46:00:00 81:42:00 35:42:00 1:42
Bill Weber 37:00:00 43:00:00 80:00:00 37:00:00 0:00
Jon Megeff 38:00:00 42:00:00 79:36:00 37:36:00 -0:24
Rich Gust 38:30:00 41:30:00 80:19:00 38:49:00 0:19
Mark Shalvarjian 41:00:00 39:00:00 78:53:00 39:53:00 -1:07
Jake Courtney 45:00:00 35:00:00 75:02:00 40:02:00 -4:58
Sean Richardson 45:00:00 35:00:00 77:42:00 42:42:00 -2:18
Mark Silva 45:00:00 35:00:00 77:51:00 42:51:00 2:09
Chuck Kaminski 43:30:00 36:30:00 79:52:00 43:22:00 -0:08
Renee Smith 50:00:00 30:00:00 75:14:00 45:14:00 -4:44
Erin Cvengros 43:45:00 36:15:00 82:07:00 45:52:00 2:07
Simeon Petrov 48:00:00 32:00:00 79:09:00 47:09:00 -0:51
Brad Angle 48:00:00 32:00:00 79:52:00 47:52:00 -0:08
Diane Silva 52:00:00 28:00:00 76:37:00 48:37:00 -3:23
Mark Kerper 52:00:00 28:00:00 76:37:00 48:37:00 -3:23
Sharon Lotesto 52:00:00 28:00:00 77:45:00 49:45:00 -2:15
Nicola Lowrey 50:00:00 30:00:00 79:51:00 49:51:00 -0:09
Mark Townes 52:00:00 28:00:00 78:53:00 50:53:00 1:07
Tamar Gamliel 56:00:00 24:00:00 76:27:00 52:27:00 -3:33
Sabina Helton 56:00:00 24:00:00 77:53 53:53:00 -2:53
Trish Riley 56:00:00 24:00:00 77:53 53:53:00 -2:53
Leonard Burzynski 56:00:00 24:00:00 81:41:00 57:41:00 1:41
Risa Kahn 60:00:00 20:00:00 83:35 63:35 3:35
Louise Gold 60:00:00 20:00:00 84:05 64:05 4:05
Corrine Schratz 77:00:00 3:00 81:12:00 78:12:00 1:12
Terri Unzueta 60:00:00 20:00:00 dns dns --
Nathalie Ingevaldsson 60:00:00 20:00:00 dns dns --
Kevin Sullivan 42:00:00 38:00:00 dns dns --
Greg Eng 36:00:00 44:00:00 dns dns
Ian Mikelson 36:00:00 44:00:00 dns dns
CLOCK START 80:00:00 0
Jim Newman 47:00:00 33:00:00 late to start; jumped in with ~23min hcp?
Michelle Wun 44:30:00 35:30:00 ran off course to Lunada Bay…:(